hi! i’m nikaela,
and you are loved <3
here’s the deal~ i know this page is supposed to wow you and convince you of all the reasons why i’m super cool and why you should stick around… but transparently, i’m just a 22-year-old, filipino-canadian girl who was born and raised in richmond, british columbia. my day to day life consists of work, school, volunteering at my church, and spending my free time with my loved ones or creating art.
the basics about me are that i am currently in school pursuing digital marketing and videography. funnily enough, my field of work is completely unrelated to my school path and i am an out-of-school program childcare worker. i initially went into childcare with the intention of becoming a therapist for adolescents and young adults. but after realizing how many years of school and how many headaches and tears that would cost me, i decided to take a more creative approach and reach a broader audience with my passion for mental health by leaning towards the digital creating world instead. hence, you finding yourself here! on nikaelasdiaries.com.
a cheeky self portrait :,)
so, why are you here and what the heck is so special about me?
the truth of the matter is, there’s absolutely fucking nothing so special about me. quite literally, i’m just a girl. a 22-year-old, small-town girl, first year student, childcare worker who doesn’t even make a living wage, doesn’t know how to drive, and still lives at home with her parents. and i don’t mean any of this in a self-deprecating way, actually i mean it in very much the opposite way. a hopeful way. a way in which i see my life as just beginning and i see myself having this eagerness to make my wildest dreams come true.
i vividly remember when one of my dearest friends asked me what my real dream was. not the answer i gave to relatives during holidays or in passing during small talk with random people – but the real freakin’ deal. if i could spend the rest of my life doing absolutely anything and earning enough to sustain myself, what would it be?
i want to go out in the world, travel, experience new things, document it all, and put it up online for everyone to see; not necessarily for them to live vicariously through me, but to feel inspired and believe that if i, an ordinary girl like me, could do these things, they could too. i want to show up for myself consistently through documenting my life in real time and sharing my honest thoughts online. i want to create art. i want to be okay with showing up imperfectly. i want to share my experiences and make connections with people who can relate/ or who i can hopefully inspire and make feel less alone. i want to be able to look back and remember the real ass shit i’ve felt and lived through. i want to remember the goodness, the uncertainty, the intimacy, the fear, the rawness, the love, the heartache – all of it. i want to remember it all. and i want to share all of it with you!
sure, that’s the dream, but low and behold, here i am, being the one behind the screen, spending hours a day on instagram and tiktok watching others living my exact dream. and it’s so lovely to see what can be done, but the real question still stands being, why have i not even trying to do the same if i want it so bad?
there’s lots to say when it comes to the way my life has played out so far – all the trials and trauma i’ve had to face – but what’s happened to me is no excuse to hold myself back from trying to do all the things i keep saying i want to do. i’ve spent so many years afraid of so many things– it’s the fear of living and succeeding, yet it’s the fear of failing too all at once. i’m tired of being tired and i’m tired of watching the time go by as i sulk over not being where i want to be in life.
the point of this all is that by both of us being here on this website, i am now committing to making my dream become a reality. in a couple years i’m going to come back to this very page and be in awe of myself for how far i’ve come, as well as be overwhelmed with gratitude towards myself and to you for making it happen! i have no idea what the heck i’m doing, but one day i’ll be sitting in my home in toronto or new york or LA or wherever i end up wanting to be, and i’m going to be crying the happiest tears remembering where i came from and being so proud that i tried.
thank you for being here. i hope you enjoy your stay.
xoxo – nik